~Better Than Me~

Well I must say, I have really been in my head this week. The kids have started back to school and I’m ready to do some changing and hopefully find a better me. I have been down and kinda getting depressed. How do I fix that? Well, I got to better myself to the point were I won’t continue with that state of mind. Last night me and my husband went to Walmart and done some shopping. He seemed kinda distant. I know he’s been joking around about my weight. Calling me pet names like Stubbie!!!! You might as well call me fat. I can’t remember the last time he called me sexy and looked at me as if he thought I was. This does bother me and the fact that he took off to go to the mall so early this morning. Then he calls from the mall and tells me he was going to the mall and said he just got there and he would try to call me back if his phone didn’t go dead. We’re he forgot to charge it. He just don’t want to answer it. I can’t believe he’s lying to cover up a lie. I thought he loved me. Now days I’m not so sure. I wish I knew what and who he was doing behind my back. Am I going to ask him about it? No, why ask someone who is lying to me. When in all reality all he’s going to do is lie to me again. I looked in the mirror yesterday and thought “Why don’t I take care of myself anymore?” I’m going to start I’ve let myself go for to long now. I am 35 years old and I’m not getting any younger. I need to start working on a better me. I remember back when I first met my husband I could tell how much he was in love with me. Now it’s all different. I don’t see him checking me out anymore. Maybe he thinks he has found someone better than me. Has he found someone better than me? No, he will never find a heart as true as mine. There is one thing in this life I do take seriously and that’s my heart. My husband might think he’s found another woman that’s better than me. I wish him luck on doing so, because he will never find a woman that loves him the way I  do. If he’s trying than he doesn’t understand a live so pure. I’m going to make it count do what I can to better  myself, maybe then and only then he will see and not try to find better than me, because in reality that don’t exist.



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