The Walk

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Today, I definitely took a walk in life. I went and got a Pelvic Ultra Sound. Yeah, I know sounds like all kinds of fun. They said my uterus was sideways. I know that couldn’t be a good thing. September has been a very stressful month for me, because I made up my mind to get test done and blood work to actually get myself checked out to the fullest. To try to figure out what exactly is wrong with me. The walk of life is scary and if your an individual who has severe panic disorder like me, well then your life is a constant struggle of the battle of the thoughts. Your thoughts are all together what some would call racing thoughts. I find it to be an exhausting nightmare. To suffer daily with panic disorder does really suck! What are you supposed to do about it? Some would say get you a shrink (psychiatrist) well I have done that. My doctor helped me for a long time then off the meds I go, and it has really done a number on me. He says do the anxiety workbook okay, done that and it still does not stop the attacks. They keep coming strong. I have chest pains daily. I suffer in pain daily and I manage, but for them to make me live in a constant fright without the proper anxiety medication, well I just don’t think that’s fair. Therapy is not going to change the fact I have full force panic and I can’t stop it. I do what I can to function daily. Since j have been struggling without proper medication my gratitude of life has decreased tremendously. I know I must make the best of things, to change things about myself that I want to change for the better. I’m going to lose weight. I’m going to start walking or dancing to get the exercise I need to make myself healthier if it’s God’s will for me to be then it shall be we shall see. I am ready to take my walk one day at a time and I do know one thing for sure with God as my strength anything is possible. Stay tuned to what’s yet to come in my life and destiny, for only God can judge me in the walk of life.

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